An Overseas Adoptee in the USA

My name is not important, but everyone calls me Kit for short. I grew up in a small town and lived in a fantasy world.
Majority of my life I haven't been quite right and I never will be. I have a reason for this and it is all how you make of it that turns life around.
I currently reside in Michigan, USA. I have married and became a proud parent of two. I was originally born in Suwon, RK where I then was turned into an OAK, (Overseas Adopted Korean).
I have lived a simple life and strain to keep it that way. There is not much to me, but we all have skeletons in the closets; some more than most.

I've been feeling this strange void in my life that I haven't been able to fill with answers; whether it may be health history, family tree, and other historical origin that I may not know about. I have been the type to be very self conscience of my appearance to others and society has made note of that everyday. I get good and bad remarks all the time. Unfortunately with the bad I cannot tort back with anything about where I come from because I am uneducated of who I am.

In example to my usual days out in the open, I was working when a customer comes in through the door. He instantly widens his eyes and lowers his head to the floor and keeping any contact to the minimal. I ask a series of questions and make small talk. I gave up on simple gestures of customer service and continued on what he owed. We exchanged money and change; then he was on his way out the door. Head still lowered to the floor, he stops to utter under his breath, "Learn to speak English."

Very angrily I shoved my fists in my pockets and stood in one place. I refrained from running after him. I then ran outside to confront this rude man, and ask for him to repeat himself. Once seeing me exit the building, he hurriedly drove off.

There are other days where I seem to come across curiousity rather than ignorance. A man comes in to notice I have perfect English and lingers after the sales transaction to converse with me. He continues to ask if I was born in the states. I truthfully say no, but at the same time weary, since this should not matter. "That's wierd!", he exlaims. At this point I am highly irritated at this unintended remark. He asks how I like it here; meaning the United States, and continues to other unwanted topics.

I go home and ponder why I have this label that makes others have to remind me of what I seem to them.

I enlisted in the United States Army, and for the first time, encountered cultured Asian ethnicities. This encouraged my need to know more about who I really am. I wouldn't call this a negative nor a positive experience for me; however there was a difficult barrier that I needed to overcome.

Many military personnel have experienced Korean customs as well as gaining them. This in-fact was hurtful to know that they had something I did not. The ability to fit in the ways I lacked. Quite a bit of my kin were born in the states or adopted as well. The only difference was that they continued to have connections to the old world. The adopted ones were introduced to a family that had other Korean history or members. The new Korean American generations were given lessons by grandparents and parents even if they were a mixed race; then there was me, I felt lost.

I've met many national Koreans that have been wed into the states or other families that moved here. All welcomes me with a smile and a hug and is more open to the fact I am more American than Korean, but to either side I am foreign